Science - Because It’s Fun (and could get you date!)

Ok, I’ve pontificated from my computer about making sure you’re hitting the gym, ironing your shirt, going out with an open mind, smiling (extra emphasis on this), networking, not telling your date about how late you were out drinking the night before (or discussing your partying habits in general) …

Some of the pointers above may seem obvious (though, I have seen far too often they are surprisingly not followed) so I thought I would share some not-so-obvious information that may give the resourceful single a little extra ammunition in his or her search for the “One” (after all, it’s a jungle out there).

This week’s blog brings fun facts from a field of research that most everyone finds fascinating (gotta love alliteration) and which is constantly evolving: the science and psychology of attraction. Indeed, the more you learn about what makes people attracted to one another, the more you realize that there are an abundance of factors at play, the majority of which we are barely cognizant … Considering the business I'm in, I make it a point to stay current with everything that's out there on this topic, and I thought it might be fun to share some highlights with my loyal SAN readers. Next week, we’ll go back to the pressing questions of singledom, but for this week how about some helpful tips which also make for some good cocktail party trivia?

For starters, did you know that something as basic as the color we are wearing can make a person more attracted to us. For example, when men see a picture of a woman surrounded by, or wearing, red, they're more likely to want to (1) ask her on a date, (2) spend more money on the date and (3) have sex with her?[1] (if I start seeing a lot more red scarves, skirts and tops around town, I guess I know my readership is increasing!). Another interesting one - spicy floral fragrances can make women appear on average 10-12 pounds slimmer.[2] Talk about the next fad diet!

Also, an interesting piece of information for the single women out there – men find women’s voices sexier when they’re ovulating.[3] A small incentive to schedule your dates strategically?? In fact (not surprisingly) men find a lot of women’s physical traits sexier when women are ovulating. Consider pupil size. In one study where men were shown pictures of women that were identical in every way except the women’s pupil size, the men overwhelmingly found the women to be prettier and more feminine in the pictures where the women’s pupils were larger (in case you didn’t know, women’s pupils dilate widest around ovulation).[4]

For the guys, there’s plenty of science to help out there too. Did you know that research has found that the release of adrenaline enhances feelings of attraction? Therefore, if you plan a date that has an element of excitement or danger to it, you can increase your chances of securing a round two. Meeting for a midnight picnic in Central Park might be overdoing it, but whitewater rafting or bungy jumping could do the trick. Ok, I know, we’re in Manhattan – how about ice skating?

Another helpful tidbit for the guys … you can also get some serious mileage from a favorably disposed wing woman. In one study, researchers gauged the impact of an attractive female’s approval on how other women perceive men’s attractiveness and the results were fascinating. A quick recap of the study: researchers showed women photos of two men side by side and asked them to rate their attractiveness. They then showed the women one of the men’s photos again but with a twist – on the second go around they showed the man talking with an attractive woman. In half the photos the woman wore a smiling, engaged expression and in the other half, she wore an unsmiling, or neutral expression. I’m sure my intelligent readers can guess that the men were found to be more attractive in the photos where the women were smiling at them, but would you have expected that the female judges rated them at least 15 percent higher? And if they were the recipient of the sullen look – a downgrade of 10 percent on average.[5]

This study makes me think of a good friend who, when he sees a woman of interest at a bar, gives me a nudge and asks me to focus on talking to him for a minute. I always end up smiling and engaged not only because he is a friend, but because he is incredibly funny. Pretty intuitive of my friend for a finance guy (sorry about the shot, finance guys, I know you are all not like that!).

There is so much information out there on this topic, I could write a 100 blogs on it – uh oh, I guess I should have titled this Science: Part 1. If you want more on this topic, speak up (how is that as a transparent ploy to get more comments posted? Shameless, I know…)


[1] Approximately a year ago, Regina Nuzzo wrote a great article for the LA Times which provides fun tips for using the science of attraction to maximize the chances of meeting your soul mate during the holiday party season. No reason not to apply these tips to socializing year round! See http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-mating82008dec08,0,1461407.story?page=1

[2] Andrew Trees, Decoding Love: Why It Takes Twelve Frogs to Find a Prince and Other Revelations from the Science of Attraction (New York: Penguin Group ( USA ) Inc., 2009). Simply put, this a great book. It’s not a “how to” dating guide but a serious, scholarly evaluation of research that shines a whole new light on dating and the search for a mate.

[3] The Discovery Channel has a short video on this called “Voice on Estrogen” which really illustrates this tidbit of scientific information nicely. See http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/science-of-sex-appeal-ovulating-voices.html. If you have a few moments, watch a few of the other videos on The Science of Sex - I also liked the video titled “Dating and Mating Pool” and the related “Out of Your League” video, as well as the one called “Unsexy Scents” which deals with the issue of how sense of smell helps humans pick the best partners, genetically speaking. Amazing stuff.

[4] Jena Pincott, Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes, Bodies, Behavior and Brains ~ The Science Behind Sex, Love & Attraction (New York: Delacorte Press, 2008). This book on behavior answers all the pressing questions like “what body language do women use to express interest?” (Answer: it’s in the gaze) to “why does creativity get men laid?" (I’ll let you read the book or ask me offline if you want this answer!) Over 100 such questions that will really get you thinking (and staring, and creating…)

[5] Id.